Balloons in the wind

Conversation with WC about love

"Actually, I was kinda hoping that there was a third party involved. In this way, maybe everything will make more sense and the hurt will be less." wc typed over the internet.

"Don't be silly. The hurt will not be less. If you found out that there was a third party, what will happen is that any remaining love for her will transform into hatred fueled by a sense of betrayal. The hurt will still be there, it is just that it will take another form. Until the day you can walk past her without feeling any emotional stirrings in your heart, maybe that is the day when the hurt really ends." I typed.

"Given what we have been through for the last six years, I'm not sure if I can ever walk past her again without feeling emotional." wc replied.

"Well, there are just some scars that can never heal."

"Not even with time?"

"Yeah."

"That sucks."

"I know."

Man Pushing Car

仿佛推着一车的遗忘
与时代的步伐
抗衡

旧情人

你继续走
一如以往
我烧掉桥
你淹死掉

her ghost

for a friend, w.c.

like a windmill trapped under the tides
you're getting weary of walking
through this mobieus strip
of memory, a haunted past

a cigarette burns
on the edge of the window sill
nobody should shed fiery red tears
bloodied, only to fade into grey
as the night washes them away

the circumstances when she appeared
without a trace, yet vanishes
by knotting your convulsed heart further
friends turn into conspirers in an instance
possessed and exorcised by ignorance

the scent of a withered flower fades
yet out of its carcass, another season blooms
there are no chains on your feet
but you can’t say the same
for the bitterness caged within

wake up!
show some respect for the ghosts
that are screwing up your life

淡水捷运站

Along Kranji Reservoir

Some wierd structures along Kranji Reservior, Singapore

我讨厌星座

（刊登于联合早报2005年11月）

要追溯占星术 (astrology) 的起源并不容易。有些学者认为占星术可追溯于史前，并以公元前30,000年动物骨头上的刻印为证，尽管此论点并非无争议。然而，大家所熟悉的十二星座起源于公元前450年的古巴比伦 (Babylon) ，并且由希腊人发扬。

所谓占星术，其实是种利用各行星的位置和移动来进行占卜的玩意儿，其主导原则是各行星在每个人出生时的位置和移动对我们一生有巨大的影响。因此，我们才会在综艺节目上听到双鱼座不适合和处女座交往的论点。或者翻开报纸时看到白羊座的朋友这个星期会有好运。或者是在工作上不小心犯错时，你的上司会说出类似：“因为你是双子座，性格粗枝大叶，所以做事就比较粗心大意。” 的话。

本人不相信占星术，以及一切有关的荒谬说法。我不相信一个人的生辰足以影响他的一生。我不相信自己因为出身在某个星座下就注定有什么样的性格。我更不相信自己如果碰到倒楣的事，是因为星座受到了其他行星的影响。

曾经有研究人员对所谓星座论进行了研究。他们召集了一群星座学家，要求他们把属于不同星座的人的性格简略写在不同的卡片上。然后，研究人员要求每个星座学家去阅读其他人所写的东西，并且要他们断定哪个性格描写是属于哪个星座的。结果呢？没有一个人可以准确地把其他星座学家的性格描写归类于它所属的星座。别说猜对一半，就连四分之一都没有。结果，这些星座学家的准确性跟瞎猜没什么分别。当然，这也不奇怪。因为占星术原本就建立在这些 “专家” 事后孔明般瞎掰的基础上。

美国某研究单位于1991年的抽样调查显示有超过75% 的美国人每日阅读报纸上的星座预测，并且有25% 的人相信此类的预测。虽然我没有本地民众对星座的看法和信任程度的数据，不过从书店里架上的各种有关星座的书、报章上的“明日星座” 一栏、以及网路上几个搜寻网页上的广告，本地大概也有许多民众相信所谓星座这玩意儿吧。

每当我听到朋友们聊天时谈到有关星座的课题时，都会毫不客气地斥责他们迷信，以及试着向他们解释为何星座学没有科学根据。当然，朋友们都会指责我过于认真，并且说：“哎呀，我当然也知道所谓星座没有科学根据。我只不过是讲来好玩的，饭后闲话嘛。”

这些朋友们对待星座的态度，大概就和那些每日阅读报章上的星座预测，却不完全相信的50% 的美国人一样吧。他们认为这些迷信无伤大雅。或者，只要有一点点头脑的人，肯定不会照单全收。

换另个角度看待这问题吧。你听到某位老师在课堂上对学生说地球是四方形的后上前指正他。如果他解释说这只是消遣的话，有头脑的学生不会相信，你会接受吗？当然不会。因为有些学生会信以为真。当然，比较聪明的学生会知道老师只是在说笑。可是，他们并没有纠正老师和不知情的同学，还陪老师一起瞎闹，导致越来越多相信地球是四方形的学生出现。

喂，那些把迷信当成无伤大雅的聪明人，我担心的可不是你们，而是那些会把迷信思想照单全收的人。如果一直把蠢话随便挂在嘴边，迟早会让人误会成真理。或许读者这时会像朋友一样指责我过于固执和认真。或许你会认为这跟我家教有关。或许是因为我主修心理学。或许是因为与生俱来的性格。

不过我可以向你保证，这跟星座毫无关系。

Freaky Religious Institution

More evidence on the lunancy of religion...

Windvane

方向就如同风

Joss Stick Holder

原来神明只是一种装饰品

Comments on newspaper article

This news article I saw in the Straits Time today just cracks me up. It's just like the story one used to hear as a kid about the bully who pouted and whined because someone bigger and stronger had came along and became the new bully on the block. The bully thus becomes the bullied. So how come NTUC was not complaining when they priced the small provision shops and mama shops out of business???

Ah, the ways of the world......

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Warehouse stores: FairPrice upset with decision

By Marcel Lee Pereira

THREE large retailers - Ikea, Courts and Dairy Farm - will be allowed to set up factory outlets on the edge of Tampines, a decision that has upset Singapore's biggest supermarket chain, NTUC FairPrice.

Under the Economic Development Board's (EDB) Warehouse Retail Scheme, the three can set up retail outlets within a warehouse development.

Previously, permanent retail activities were not allowed in industrial developments. Now, up to 40 per cent of the gross floor area can be devoted to retail.

However, the three companies must house their regional headquarters management activities, training, logistics and warehousing facilities at the 93,000 sq m site.

They will also have to meet other criteria, including annual turnover of at least $100 million by the fifth year.

The retailers will invest a total of $200 million into the project, and expect to open their warehouse stores between next November and March 2007. A ground-breaking ceremony will be held next Friday.

FairPrice, which had also applied for the scheme, claimed that it had not been offered a chance to compete for the site.

Madam Cynthia Phua, deputy general manager of FairPrice's property department, said the site was 'directly allocated' to the three retailers without being offered to others.

'It is not within the boundaries of the announced guidelines,' she added.

Last year, the EDB stipulated that the scheme was restricted to 'outlying' areas. One of these areas was north of the Tampines Expressway.

However, the announced site is south of the expressway, pointed out Madam Phua. FairPrice said it had stuck to EDB guidelines by looking at sites in Kranji and Tuas.

Stores like Giant Hypermarket, owned by Dairy Farm, and Courts were already operating in the HDB heartlands, noted Madam Phua.

With the warehouse stores coming up 'so near to existing malls at Tampines and Pasir Ris, competition will be very stiff, and we pay very high rentals there', she added.

Old Building, Blue Sky

深蓝的天
俯视着
苍老的房屋

1984

1984
i was six years of age
just a year before enrolment
into school and education
my childhood memories consisted of
loafing all day in the playground

my father would tell me not
to pout and cry in protest
whenever it gets dark
whenever i have to return home
because the police
will arrest if you don't obey
daddy would always say
and I’m always frightened

1984
when i was a bit older than six
and the nation was approaching nineteen
i would sing in delight the songs that unite
the recollections of my childhood melodies
joyous and without purpose

as i watch men in green matching
from my television set, commands were
shouted but i'm disinterested, only
waiting for the fireworks, nothing
could tear me away, not even
my mother’s call for dinner

1984
as i slowly approached seven
i couldn't understand the commotion
about this thing they called election
i've tried to ask my parents, but
they did not try to explain
telling me i was too young
to understand, too innocent
to comprehend, my father whispered
lightly into my ears and my mother
wore a disapproving look that dispelled
all queries and curiosity

my only memory of that incident
vague and maybe unreal, perhaps
was this headline on the newspaper
saying something about someone
winning some unknown fight, somewhere
without a challenge, i remember the stern
smiling face and joyous eyes on the
photograph on the front page of the
papers, and i knew who he was and
i think, possibly, i wondered if he
knew who i was, in 1984*

* in the general elections in december 1984, the then pm lee walked over in his constituency for the first time in history.

如何被他人尊重

(刊登于联合早报2005 年11月)

我从小就被父亲灌输许多做人的道理。当然，长大有了自己的想法后，难免有些人生观与父亲之前的教导有些不同。然而，父亲所灌输给我的处世待人的道理是我始终没有遗弃的。

我记得小时候有一次和父亲到杂货店去买东西，当时我以不礼貌的态度对待了杂货店里的店员，结果父亲当场就在众人面前处罚我，并且要我向杂货店的店员道歉。

“华彪，我不是教你要学会尊重他人吗？不管是谁都应该如此。不要以为别人收了你的钱，你就可以把他们当成例外。就算是别人有求于你，还是他们必须听从于你，也并不代表你可以不把他们当人看待。”

这是父亲当时的训话。我到今天依然把它当成处世待人的基本原则。

最近消协和新加坡劳务仲介协会提议女佣介绍所在雇用和约里加入让女佣每月至少休假一天的条件，或者以金钱补偿无休假日的女佣。然而，这个提议并不受法律强制，不遵守的介绍所顶多无法通过消协或劳务仲介协会的鉴定。况且，现有雇主和选择与女佣直接更新合约的雇主将不受影响。这意味在我们的 “优雅社会” 里，还有一些女佣都没有休假的福利。

如果要各位全年无休地工作，包括周末和公共假日，我想各位一定马上想转行吧？很可惜的是许多女佣们都没有这种选择的权利。如果各位也毫无选择的话，一定会向别人抱怨雇主的不人道吧？下次在各位必须加班时，请想想女佣们的感受吧。

或许本人过于苛刻了。除了少数害群之马之外，或许多数新加坡人都善待女佣，尽管海峡时报在2003年做的一个统计显示只有半数的女佣有休假日。或许正如联合早报10月26日的报导里受访问的雇主所说的一样：“休假对她 (女佣) 来说没什么意义，一来她没有地方可去，二来出去外面就是要花钱，那倒不如留在家里，接受我给她的补贴更划算。”

我倒想知道女佣们的想法，只可惜在网络上阅读了本地两大报纸的报道后，却找不到任何女佣们的访问。奇怪了，这项提议除了影响雇主外，也会影响女佣。怎么报纸都觉得没必要去访问她们呢？

有关为女佣争取休假日的事件，或许它反映了这个可爱的社会并不是我们想象中那么优雅吧。尽管我们有所谓的礼貌运动，而多数新加坡人表面上都显得友善和懂得尊重他人，不过女佣们的待遇却让我们不得不思考所谓尊重他人的定义。我常告诉朋友，如果要衡量一个人的人格，别只着眼他对待上司和同事时的行为，更应该看看他是如何对待那些听命于他的人，例如下属、女佣和餐厅里的侍应生。不是说要提高服务DNA吗？最有效的方法大概是学习如何打从心里尊重他人吧，而不是因为你想赚人家的钱才假装友善。尽管在功利社会里我们必须讲求效率，不过并不代表我们不能够学习尊重他人。

也就是说，如果各位家里有女佣的话，请不要把她们当成做家务的机器或者是廉价的劳工看待。请不要觉得她们是低你一等的外劳，所以不能和你同桌吃饭。请不要允许你们的孩子对她们大吼大叫，因为你绝不会允许孩子对陌生人无礼。如果你自己认为在短时间内完成所有家务是不合理的要求，别在女佣无法办到时大骂她们。

就如父亲二十年前告诉我的一样：当你开始尊重别人时，别人才会尊重你。不然的话，那只是虚伪的奉承。如果我们不把女佣当人看待的话，她们也没有义务把我们当成人看待。

On The Streets Of Taipei

emptiness travel at the speed of light

do not
mistake emptiness for loneliness
the analogy is akin to the comparison
between hunger and appetite
i chose the easy way out
of this city, no more memories
of this numbness, chain-mailed into the deepest
repository of my existence

from singapore to taipei, does time bend over
distance to give us fate's kaleidoscopic reflection
in this neon eruption of lightness
something must have been displaced
by this emptiness, traveling the other direction

those lovers who passed away
way back then, they crawled into this void
in my dreams all their faces were identical
their voices dissolved into a cacophony
of a singular question:
"why did you send them away
in their shriveled husk; didn't you feel
their glow, even though we're all deceased
in your eyes?"

something must give

i do not know what to make out
of this emptiness, the veridical reflection
in the mirror or the distorted body on the hotel bed
lying like an abstract art piece
the glorious sketches of all those ex-lovers

emptiness travel at the light of speed
so what about darkness?

i close my eyes.

战争

从黑暗到光明的诺言
被遗弃的距离总是
把我们痛苦
当啤酒畅饮

站岗的军人
把历史写成断头台
没有人怀疑赤子心
担心血河过于冲动

信仰如此顽固
然而子弹却一致
没有人怀念
和平的云淡风轻

昨天和今天一样残忍

On the Death Penalty

Breaking News: Nguyen Tuong Van faces death by hanging
(Think Centre)21 October 2005

Think Centre is very disappointed that Nguyen Tuong Van faces death by hanging for a non-violent drug offence. The death penalty for Nguyen Tuong Van is unfair, cruel, inhuman, degrading and disproportionate punishment. It violates the right to life.

I saw this piece of article on the Think Centre website where they criticise the Singapore Government on the use of death penalty. As you can see, this guy was sentenced to death due to a "non-violent drug offence", or so the people at Think Centre claimed. However, when I looked up the details of his conviction, it turns out that this guy was smuggling heroin.

Hmmm, the way Think Centre puts it, you would have thought this guy is going to be hanged for smuggling panadol.

Of course we know that heroin is a non-violent drug. I mean, we've seen heroin addicts on TV right? They look like skinny zombies, like someone you can really just take out with a punch, right? Not to say that a lot of heroin drug addicts commit crimes to get the money they need for their drug habits. Not to say families are broken up. Not to say those addicts who overdosed and died as a result. Yeah, heroin is a non-violent drug.

No, I'm not a keen supporter of the death penalty either, and I respect the right to life as much as anybody else. However, in the view that the extent of harm that is caused by drugs to the society, albeit in a more insidious and not-so-salient ways, I will not reject the death penalty as a harsh deterrent to stopping drug trafficking. This is because I respect the right to life of those mislead and probably impressionable teenages who might have their lives ruined by drugs, thus you will never find me signing any petition for someone who is sentenced to death by smuggling in drugs.

Just because you do not see the dead bodies, doesn't mean it is not violent.

Footsteps In The Sand