Mandy's Lament

Mandy's Lament


“I’m feeling quite lost in life. I don’t know where I will be five years down the road.” My handphone showed the text message from Mandy. Although I could not see her, I imagined her face to be forlorn.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I also don’t know where I’ll be five years down the road too. In fact, let me tell you a little secret: I often wake up in the middle of the night, gasping for air in fear and thinking, what the fuck am I doing with my life?” I returned the message and continued reading.

“But that’s different! I’m talking about my career, and you know, I don’t know whether my hard work will get me to where I want to be in the future.” Now I imagined Mandy’s face to be somewhat pouting.

“Well, that’s what makes life interesting, isn’t it? Because we don’t know what will happen in the future. Because life is not a movie script where all the lines have already been arranged. Do I really want to know where I will be in five years time? I don’t. It’ll be damn boring and it’ll take the fun out of living. Life is life only because it is uncertain.”

“But don’t you find the uncertainty a bit frightening?”

“Sometimes. But I sort of realized that life is not a vending machine where you just put in a coin and, pop, out comes whatever you want. I wished it was, but it isn’t. So, like it or not, we all have to live with this uncertainty.”

And there was no reply message from her.